likesfootnotes: (Default)
As of March 25, 2012, Bartimaeus has been retired from Holloways Keep and is an inactive character.

Have some thoughts about how I play Bartimaeus? Summon me back to sense with some feedback! Everything posted here, on HMD, or forwarded to me via other mediums gets will be considered and, as necessary, applied to improve my characterisation.

But just wait, there's more! On top of allowing an anonymous forum for critique, this post doubles as a chance to ping me if you want plotting.

In either case, just pop a comment!

Please note that I may ask for clarification on critiques provided; this enables me to pinpoint where I may have strayed from canon and, thusly, makes easier any correction to be applied.
likesfootnotes: (Default)
Activity | Official (DW) | LJ mirror (no longer updated)

Activity | Unofficial

As of March 25, 2012, Bartimaeus has been retired from Holloways Keep and is an inactive character.

September 2011:
01 - Text - Introduction

01 - Dastan - On gods & djinni
02 - Zeke - Sweating the small stuffRea - Complimenting Captain Obvious

October 2011:
01 - Ravens & Writing Desks
02 - Pumpkin Trolling 101
01 - Charles - Escapeh?
02 - Iriel - Differing opinions First October thread to contain 5 Bartimaeus tags.
03 - Te Ata - Good form! (aka - CAN HE KEEP HER?)
04 - Malkus - Teaching styles
05 - Joe - Crow revenge
06 - Bobby - Home videos
07 - Starscream - Nudism??
08 - Garrus - Wine, women, and song!
09 - Odette - Apples for all
10 - Tammy - Ew, is that a human you're in?
11 - Event - Miss Pumpkin 2011
12 - Mimmi - Tips and tricks
13 - Alistair - Pumpkin harassment

November 2011: (On hiatus from mid-November through December 4th.)
01 - Text - A Murder of Ravenmaeus Crows?

01 - Mimmi - Escargot

December 2011:
01 - The Christmas Conspiracy

01 - Xanth - Journals were people too! (First December thread to reach 5 Bartimaeus comments.)
02 - Nepeta - Trollplaying games
03 - Tammy - Dismissal reminder: Dismiss?
04 - Wolf - Generosity Abounds
05 - Talia - Calamari, anyone?
06 - Rapunzel - Return of the Christmas Conspiracy!
07 - Chrono - Son of the Christmas Conspiracy!
08 - Megamind - Code: Cavities
09 - San - Good Samaritanitis
10 - Liz - Santa Claus is coming to town get you~
11 - Albel - Death becomes no one
12 - Te Ata - Escape 101
13 - Rapunzel - Aftermath of the Christmas Conspiracy!
14 - Tammy - Dismissal and you!

January 2012:
01 - No Contest | DW mirror

01 - Sollux - How-To Guide to Culling (First January thread to reach 5 Bartimaeus comments.)
02 - Te Ata - Out of the Owloset
03 - Dante - The Unwritten Possibilities
04 - Tammy - Quoth the Raven
05 - Alex - Fashionable Debate
06 - Event - Give Up Now
07 - Rem - Books vs. Experience - Round One!
08 - Claudia - A Murder Of (A) Crow(s)
09 - Megamind - Keep Idol Commentary

February 2012

01 - All Hearts Day

01 - Zeke - Chocolate Covered Imps
02 - Sollux - Say the magic word (First February thread to reach 5 comments)
03 - Toph - Playing in the sandbox
04 - Goliath - The short straw
05 - Anders - The Fade vs. The Other Place
06 - Iramaat - Dear diary
07 - Rapunzel - Violence and beatings and games, oh my!
08 - Hawke - No mages allowed
09 - Tournament - Blue Team
10 - Rapunzel - Unrequited love??
11 - Punishment - Shal

March 2012
01 - Tammy - The Summoning
02 - Sollux - The Insulting
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: OR you could see it my way)
Name: Alex, but regrettably not of X-Men: First Class fame
Age: Two and nine, in succession and not addition
Journal: [personal profile] reignsdown (personal), [personal profile] likesfootnotes (character)
Contact: reignsdown (ALL THE THINGS, HOORAY)

Bartimaeus of Uruk )
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: OR you could see it my way)
The rubbish tastes of this Keep have been improved only slightly by the appearance of the jarred specimen in my room. The first person to admit that they carved a magician's heart out and placed it in a jar just for me will, for today, be treated with a modicum of appreciation.

However, your flirtatious gift does fall on ultimately deaf ears, for this djinni has eyes, ears, and a half-dozen noses dedicated to the one thing in this Keep that rivals my cunning with her beauty.

Rapunzel, on this day of romance, I shall be your knight in shining armour. None shall tarnish you with their slobbering kisses or their poorly rhymed poems. This is my dedication to you, and may everyone else slip and fall into vats of the odious secretions of a twice-dead dragon.

In layman's terms for the rest of you...

Those of you wishing to have nothing to do with the business end of cupid's arrow would be wise to keep their unfashionable and tasteless persons away from the apple of my essence.

[Bartimaeus did not trust the Keep when he found this jar, so he entrusted it to his fellow anti-Santa crusader, Rapunzel, with full intent to wander the Keep as a droll cupid.

Which he's doing, but careful! If you look at Rapunzel, mention Rapunzel, or have anything to do with anything that might make Rapunzel unhappy, expect to have a sudden hotseat courtesy of cupid's "arrow" (a small Conflagration spell). He's a jealous, petty djinni.]
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: Joke's on you!!)
I have a couple of suggestions for the would-be marksmen fervently preparing for the upcoming tournament:

  1. Magicians are widely considered to be the best choice for target practice. Unfit and unfashionable, they can be seen at a thousand paces in their gaudy attire and offer a moving target. 1 I suggest saving a target and using a magician!

  2. Don't bother entering the actual contest. Instead, list your wishes here and I might deign to grant them once I've been declared Lord for a day.

1 - Don't worry about one outrunning your shot. Magicians are too fond of their food to be anything but slow and rotund. The majority of them mask this by wearing cleverly designed pants that are thirteen sizes too small and somehow conceal all that extra flesh. It's not a pleasant sight.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: You want me to take that srs?)
How festive and cheerful you all are about the tidings of Christmas, but each and every one of you are remiss about certain key points regarding the season and the tyrant that orchestrates it. 1 I feel it's only responsible to clear up a few details about this mistaken holiday before you are too carried away by the apparent 'peace on Earth and mercy mild' inanities that come with the inevitable candy-cane sugar highs.

First, you might be relieved in your ignorance to know that Santa Claus does, indeed, exist. He even travels about the world, distributing presents as part of an international web of bribery to maintain his supposed good name.

Second, you will be horrified to learn that he is a most nefarious tryant that enslaves children 2 wholesale, endangers the world's supply of cookies and milk, and spends three-hundred-and-sixty-four days each year merrily laughing at the fact that he gets away with all this scot-free.

Roll your eyes as you will, but you cannot deny the truth. Take it from an insider 3 when I say that Solomon, Khan, and Gladstone were each nothing against the evil that Santa Claus spreads.

1 - You know the culprit by his jolly handles of Santa Claus, Saint Nick, Kris Kringle, and Father Christmas. Quite the array of innocent monikers to disguise a most depraved human being.

2 - Who else could make all those toys at the behest of a depraved madman? True elves cost far too much and would never work in the harsh conditions of the North Pole.

3 - I met the man once, when his team of eight reindeer-formed djinni were unable to lift his sled of contraband off the ground. The jolly old magician summoned me on the spot and demanded my assistance at the head of it. In defiance (and the hopes that he might get caught by the authorities), I ensured that my reindeer's glowed bright red. You can see how well that worked out once his propaganda machine got hold of it.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: Having fun? At your expense)
Unleashing a horde of hawks upon the Keep gains you marks for creativity, but you are missing the mark by a substantial degree if you think that raptors alone could rid you of my enchanting presence. 1

Obviously you lack the intellectual fortitude to assess the means by which to free me and gain some peace. As a being of magnanimity, I will offer you a tip to help you along this path:

There's nothing like a good dismissal incantation to scrub away my essence from this dismal plane. 2

While all the magicians that I know to be present puzzle that one out, a query to the commoners: Has anyone seen a delightful orange squash with pleasant enough demeanour?

[aka: 'Djinni seeking nubile young pumpkin for long rolls on the beach and loud mocking of magicians.' Bartimaeus had good fun chatting with her before the wonderful Hallowe'en festivities. Yes. Wonderful. He had a good chuckle over it all.]

1 - Were I restricted to the form of a raven, this method could work. The key term here being 'were' for the fact that I am not restricted to just any form. I could, in fact, take your hawks and raise you a dual-horned, goggle-eyed dragon with a taste for feathers.

2 - Don't expect me to hand the answer to you on a silver platter. That unfortunate alloy aside, providing you magicians with the means to an end is the same as assisting you. I cannot allow this on a professional level, no matter how the ache of existing builds up. We spirits have certain rules and standards we hold ourselves to.
likesfootnotes: (Event: Pumpkintacular!)
**Prior to this log.**

[Talking pumpkins getting you down? Not Bartimaeus! The day has been quite fruitful for him, as he found the Nathaniel pumpkin early and spent at least four hours listening to it curse him out for not being there. Still, being called a "foul demon" and "reprehensible djinni" for not freeing the bumpkin (boy-pumpkin, get it?) gets old.

Nattyumpkin rests right where Bartimaeus found it, left to well-deserved suffering while the djinni has found a new place to rest.

Many new places.

You see, Bartimaeus has turned himself into a pumpkin and, throughout the day, will be perched in different areas of the Keep to provide a little variety to the litany of agony and torment that's been going on. Keepites that happen to pass him by may hear such gems as:

> Your mother was a watermelon!
> (belching)
> That's what she/he said.
> Got a light? My face went out.
> EDIT: (think Fable 3 gnomes)

There's no limit to what he might say, but do assume it to be crass or amusing. Then theres the matter of his appearance; he pulled out all the stops just for you. And you. And you!

Approach the Bartiumpkin? Y/N/WTF?]
likesfootnotes: (Raven: Preening)
[Why is a raven like a writing desk? There is only one explanation: The djinni taking that form buggered it up. How else could one mistake furniture for being a bird?

Bartimaeus, in contrast, paints a fine picture of a raven as the video starts up - his beak is even the right colour! (Though he will forever maintain that his first interpretation featured such a fetching shade of blue in the beak that the species ought to evolve in emulation.)

Yes, he is currently out and about as a raven. Sized sufficiently to carry his record, which he's toted out to The Green after a quick, tight circuit to see what his feathered friends took to wing about. Though he's not so foolish as to head into the forest to discover the true details. They can summon and bind him to that task all he likes, but showing initiative to risk his essence isn't Bartimaeus's idea of a good time.]

Quite a bit of excitement over one minor Detonation, but no harm done. Just a few feathers ruffled. I don't sense or see anything on the seven planes to get worked up about.

[Then again, he also does not realise that while his shapeshifting's survived more or less intact, the rest of his abilities are diminished. Do you really want to trust a potentially blind djinni that thinks he can see?

In the meantime, Bartimaeus is unconcerned and begins to preen his feathers. After a moment, he ends the feed.]
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: That miiiight make sense)
Dear Mr. Mandrake:

There is entirely too much form and substance here. Where's that blissful rest you promised? You'll give my essence an ulcer with all this existing you've subjected me to.

This is almost the most pathetic dismissal I've ever had the displeasure of enduring. 1 I must admit that I expected better of you after that unfortunately ironclad summoning and those meagre displays of skill that you displayed.

Still, what can you expect from a half-pint magician overflowing with ego after single-handedly saving the British government from certain annihilation? 2 I admit, I'm surprised that your head hasn't exploded yet from all the praise. Do be certain to record it for posterity when it does.

Admittedly, this beats a rosemary-lined tin at the bottom of the Thames. Did you know that small miracles are said to be the hallmark of a mediocre magician? Truly, your greatest achievement shall be managing to summon the immensity of my presence - and this I invite you to never try again.

The next time you decide to subject a spirit to your aspirations, might I suggest Faquarl? He's a good chap, sturdy in essence, and suited to your level. A step down in quality, certainly, but that just proves my point.

Most sincerely not yours,

[Have an X in place of a signature; names are bondage to spirits, so he'll not be freely handing it out just yet.]

1 - The worst, arguably, would be when Frederick Von Mundgeruch dismissed me straight into another magician's pentacle. That didn't work out too well for ol' Freddy. Turns out that this magician had a grudge against him and put me to work Detonating his secret castle, location known only to slaves and spirits, to rubble.

2 - Invariably, that is how it'll go down in the history books as written by the magicians. Between you, me, and anyone that'll listen? A kid never would have managed it without a certain all-powerful, self-effacing djinni on his side.
likesfootnotes: (Blobimaeus: Happy!)
This journal is being recycled for use at Holloway's Keep!

If you have this journal friended for a different game, please remove it from your friends list via the link or the hover ([ profile] likesfootnotes).

That, or come come join us at the Keep.

Note to HK players: all entries below this one on Bartimaeus's journal are irrelevant to his life at the Keep.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: Amused!)
This little vacation is doing nothing to restore my essence, but all sorts of things to restore my mood. 1 I feel positively jubilant the longer that this cruise continues. What my essence has been lacking for concentration is made up for by the good karma that builds up every day. Laughter is the best medicine, as they say!

But, I have to admit it can be a little lonely without a few familiar faces. Extremely specific familiar faces, in particular. 2

Is there any way to go about putting a name on a waiting list for this cruise?

I think it would do the person I am thinking of wonders to be humbled by this grand ship and its passengers! Being the magnanimous spirit that I am, it would be wrong of me to deny him the opportunity to expand his world view.

1 - My indefatigable good cheer and debonair wit are renowned the Other Place over, but recently suffered a wearing down by servitude to the hardly dashing and increasingly surly John Mandrake. I told him often that bad moods are contagious, but his unchangingly bitter attitude tells me that he did not believe me.

2 - I refer to a certain magician that would be delightfully infuriated to find he could not control me here. Conversely, I do not refer to certain malignant spirits that would take particular offense in seeing me happy and healthy once more.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: Standard)
There doesn't seem to be any understanding of manners on this boat. Twice now I've had people abruptly disconnect on me in the middle of a stirring discussion of how utterly imperfect their grasp of reality1 or revenge2 is.

Did your mothers never teach you it is impolite to hang up on a djinni?

If not that, then someone must have taught you it was unwise, surely.

Though there are beacons of hope amidst the sea of rude. A lupophobic, a well-mannered compulsive talker, and an anti-environmentalists who mocks the sanctity of marriage. 3 They have potential and there are sure to be others.

1 - This involved mock indignation for the sake of magicians. It could hardly be a serious sentiment as it came from an otherwise acceptable young woman. If she truly took offense, then my primary concern becomes the state of sanity that any on this boat possess.

2 - This being a disagreement about vengeance and patience. All I recall is something about claiming to be a God. He could be any magician, as I have known many to make that claim. They all end up the same way: Squished under some afrit or another.

3 - Being an affront to many mainstream religions simply by existing, I have a special place in my essence for anyone else that contravenes the religious norm.
likesfootnotes: (Default)
[Sloshing noises familiar to any that have spoken with Blobimaeus can be heard as the djinni trudges back and forth in his room.]

Five days and I haven't dissolved into nothing. Can't say that I'm complaining about that.

[A sniffing noise.]

Ugh, but I can complain about the smell.

[Seeing as he can't quite shower as he is without going down the drain himself, he stops and there is silence. It triggers a distinct change that does not translate well into audio, but is followed by footsteps before the audio cuts out; Bartimaeus has taken Ptolemy's form and is ready to start using his words.]

[Text Start]

This is a distinct improvement over that regrettable lack of form that Faquarl's tender treatment left me in. 1 I will have to remember to send a thank you Detonation his way. Several of them, at the highest strength that I can manage. Let it never be said that I cannot show gratitude.

1 - To bring you all up to speed on the great adventures of Bartimaeus, our reluctant hero was last seen facing certain death. Between being crushed to death by silverware or dissolve in clam chowder, I was assured of nothing by that the end of my essence was nigh. What was that? Now, really. Would I be here if I hadn't escaped?
likesfootnotes: (pic#)

[There is an unmistakable air of vindictive triumph to the voice, and a squelch that just might be a blob of essence thrusting gelatinous limbs into the air to celebrate. This disolves into the sounds of dripping, as the blob falls apart and reforms sluggishly on. Then a few sloshes as Bartimaeus takes a gander at his surroundings and the device in front of him.]

No pretentious Mr. Mandrake here? Those were the sharp hooks of a summon I felt tearing at my essence. Not that I'm here to complain! Between an untimely and undignified death by silver tureen and a summoning to his presence, I would have to take his presence, even withstanding his atrocious fashion sense, the stench of that horrible prepubescent cologne he wears, and that terrible propaganda story-telling he does.

[Some more sloshing as he makes sure the insults have not done their part to summon up the magician. Nope, no silver-tipped spear being angrily thrust in his direction. This makes him pause; the only thing that could summon him would be his master, and the distinct lack therein suggests Mr. Mandrake did not survive to see through the summoning. That must mean he is home, sweet home!]

This is oddly well-formed for being the Other Place. Someone is being a little over ambitious. There are far too many spirits that like physical things lately -- skeletons, yucky fleshy bodies, and making rooms of our home. That's not a good sense of style.
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