likesfootnotes | 2nd summon [audio start; switch to text]

[Sloshing noises familiar to any that have spoken with Blobimaeus can be heard as the djinni trudges back and forth in his room.]

Five days and I haven't dissolved into nothing. Can't say that I'm complaining about that.

[A sniffing noise.]

Ugh, but I can complain about the smell.

[Seeing as he can't quite shower as he is without going down the drain himself, he stops and there is silence. It triggers a distinct change that does not translate well into audio, but is followed by footsteps before the audio cuts out; Bartimaeus has taken Ptolemy's form and is ready to start using his words.]

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This is a distinct improvement over that regrettable lack of form that Faquarl's tender treatment left me in. ¹ I will have to remember to send a thank you Detonation his way. Several of them, at the highest strength that I can manage. Let it never be said that I cannot show gratitude.

1 - To bring you all up to speed on the great adventures of Bartimaeus, our reluctant hero was last seen facing certain death. Between being crushed to death by silverware or dissolve in clam chowder, I was assured of nothing by that the end of my essence was nigh. What was that? Now, really. Would I be here if I hadn't escaped?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What.

Didn't your mother ever tell you never leave a djinni with an open-ended question?

My mother didn't tell me anything. Probably why I turned out the way I did.

Then consider this your absentee mother's warning: Never leave a djinni with an open-ended question. ¹

How exactly did you turn out then.

1 - Spirits summoned are bound to do the summoner's will to the word. There is a great deal of fun and freedom to be had in misinterpreting the words, thus this warning. I am feeling gracious enough to share the advice today.

Is there a reason for the footnotes, or are you just that obnoxious?

Those notes are my attempt to make something this complex a little easier for the ignorant to understand. It's quite a gracious act. I've known plenty of djinni who would watch you flounder in that same ignorance.

Aren't you friendly. I mean, I can't say I care - at all, really - but hey. You could get a job in civil service with an attitude like that.

Having served as the Information Minister's regrettably favourite djinni, I have done my current century quota of "time" in the civil service.

Did'ja figure out how t'use the shower?

[He seemed so excited by it... yeah, Billy didn't read the little blurb-- tl;dr and all that.

Now that I have a form capable of showering, I will. Generally I would manifest a different scent about me, but there is no accounting for the physical realm's smells clinging to me.

[Try showering as slime, Billy. Sadly, it does not work and you end up part of the sewer treatment system. Bartimaeus is quite pleased that he will be able to now.]

[That is a lot of words there, Bartimaeus.]

Uhhh, I told you t'let us know if you needed a special diet not to dissolve or whatever, man.

[Thanks. He appropriately simplified it for most and used Englished. This djinni is feeling quite gracious in his new good mood.]

I require no diet whatsoever. The concern about dissolution relates to the fact my essence had been decaying rather rapidly prior to arrival.

Edited 2010-05-22 04:31 (UTC)

Oh, I do love a good clam chowder.

Do you also fancy death by that same clam chowder? That was the situation I was in. For the record, it was not as enjoyable as a good bowl of soup. ¹

1 - Though consuming anything of the physical plane can be quite disgusting. I would liken it to a good bowl of imps - tasty, if you catch my meaning.

You met an untimely death by clam chowder? How terribly unfortunate, I imagine that was an unpleasant way to go.

[imps what]

It was an unduly and disgracefully close call, though not quite death. I place full blame on my master's inability to keep his word.

Close wasn't close enough, so I suppose that you're quite thankful for that?

Thankful for the prompt summoning prior to my demise ¹, though the circumstances leading up to it prompt some very ungrateful thoughts instead.

1 - That is the one and only time you shall see a djinni grateful for being summoned.

That's quite understandable, though I have to ask - what, exactly happened before your timely arrival on board this vessel?

A series of extremely unfortunate events that culminated in a reunion with a very old friend. ¹

1 - This brings to mind the saying "familiarity breeds contempt" - Faquarl has bred enough contempt for me to spawn an entire civilisation. Mind you, mine in return is not that far off.

A good reunion, or a not so positive one?

To put it in perspective, he was the one who orchestrated the "death by clam chowder" situation.

Oh, well then that is cause for a bit of concern, now isn't it? Though I rather think as opposed to merely a 'bit' of concern it ought to be 'An Amount Much Larger Than Simply a Bit'.

But, you are her on board this fine vessel via the most peculiar rabbit hole, so I rather imagine that things are looking at least the smallest bit better, if not a larger amount?

Edited 2010-05-31 23:12 (UTC)

The circumstances are much improved, and the company is somewhat better than bits of clam and chowder mushed together.

Good company is often hard to find, yet here I seem to have found some of these cretures truly remarkable.

In five thousand years, I've only encountered it twice. Maybe three times. ¹

1 - Were you really expecting me to say who I was referring to?

Edited 2010-06-02 01:25 (UTC)

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oh dear god, this might be a compliment

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