Bartimaeus of Uruk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likesfootnotes) wrote2012-02-14 08:31 am
likesfootnotes) wrote2012-02-14 08:31 am
Entry tags:
7TH FOOTNOTE [audio] ALL HEARTS DAY
The rubbish tastes of this Keep have been improved only slightly by the appearance of the jarred specimen in my room. The first person to admit that they carved a magician's heart out and placed it in a jar just for me will, for today, be treated with a modicum of appreciation.
However, your flirtatious gift does fall on ultimately deaf ears, for this djinni has eyes, ears, and a half-dozen noses dedicated to the one thing in this Keep that rivals my cunning with her beauty.
Rapunzel, on this day of romance, I shall be your knight in shining armour. None shall tarnish you with their slobbering kisses or their poorly rhymed poems. This is my dedication to you, and may everyone else slip and fall into vats of the odious secretions of a twice-dead dragon.
In layman's terms for the rest of you...
Those of you wishing to have nothing to do with the business end of cupid's arrow would be wise to keep their unfashionable and tasteless persons away from the apple of my essence.
[Bartimaeus did not trust the Keep when he found this jar, so he entrusted it to his fellow anti-Santa crusader, Rapunzel, with full intent to wander the Keep as a droll cupid.
Which he's doing, but careful! If you look at Rapunzel, mention Rapunzel, or have anything to do with anything that might make Rapunzel unhappy, expect to have a sudden hotseat courtesy of cupid's "arrow" (a small Conflagration spell). He's a jealous, petty djinni.]
However, your flirtatious gift does fall on ultimately deaf ears, for this djinni has eyes, ears, and a half-dozen noses dedicated to the one thing in this Keep that rivals my cunning with her beauty.
Rapunzel, on this day of romance, I shall be your knight in shining armour. None shall tarnish you with their slobbering kisses or their poorly rhymed poems. This is my dedication to you, and may everyone else slip and fall into vats of the odious secretions of a twice-dead dragon.
In layman's terms for the rest of you...
Those of you wishing to have nothing to do with the business end of cupid's arrow would be wise to keep their unfashionable and tasteless persons away from the apple of my essence.
[Bartimaeus did not trust the Keep when he found this jar, so he entrusted it to his fellow anti-Santa crusader, Rapunzel, with full intent to wander the Keep as a droll cupid.
Which he's doing, but careful! If you look at Rapunzel, mention Rapunzel, or have anything to do with anything that might make Rapunzel unhappy, expect to have a sudden hotseat courtesy of cupid's "arrow" (a small Conflagration spell). He's a jealous, petty djinni.]
text | bwahahaha. i wish i had icons for this
oh my fuckiing god.
oh god.
oh god, no.
no, you 2tay far away from me. keep your 2iick uniiver2e and iit2 2iick habiit2 and 2lave2 away from EVERYONE EL2E. NO ONE need2 two hear about thii2 and you'd BETTER not try two 2tart actiing iit out.
*He's going to have to go throw all the buckets in the keep in the lake again, isn't he?*
text | yes, sollux - throw ALL OF THE BUCKETS
5 - I have much more worthy pursuits today, namely the courting of this Keep's fairest damsel.
text
2TAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
twoday and forever.