likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: Joke's on you!!)
Bartimaeus of Uruk ([personal profile] likesfootnotes) wrote2012-01-19 04:27 pm
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6th footnote [text] target practice

I have a couple of suggestions for the would-be marksmen fervently preparing for the upcoming tournament:

  1. Magicians are widely considered to be the best choice for target practice. Unfit and unfashionable, they can be seen at a thousand paces in their gaudy attire and offer a moving target. 1 I suggest saving a target and using a magician!

  2. Don't bother entering the actual contest. Instead, list your wishes here and I might deign to grant them once I've been declared Lord for a day.

1 - Don't worry about one outrunning your shot. Magicians are too fond of their food to be anything but slow and rotund. The majority of them mask this by wearing cleverly designed pants that are thirteen sizes too small and somehow conceal all that extra flesh. It's not a pleasant sight.
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likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: Oh is that your pride hurting??)

[personal profile] likesfootnotes 2012-01-20 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Practicing your evil laugh for when he triumphs and names you Chef Zeke, second in command of the Keep for the day?]
thenotmagician: (Snerk)

[personal profile] thenotmagician 2012-01-20 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh totally. Listen to that cackle! It's terrifying.]

mMost accurate description if I ever head one.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: OR you could see it my way)

[personal profile] likesfootnotes 2012-01-20 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
[Deepen it a bit and let it flow from the throat and you'll have ever hero in a ten-mile radius shuddering with unease.]

It's nice to hear some appreciation for the basic facts of life!

Are you going to be one of these so-called archers I'll just have to best?
thenotmagician: (Nice ta meet ya)

[personal profile] thenotmagician 2012-01-20 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Nah, I'm just a chef. Just gonna kick back and watch.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: Can't touch this)

[personal profile] likesfootnotes 2012-01-20 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
Good man! You can recognise that you don't stand a chance and toss in the towel accordingly. Magicians everywhere could stand to learn from you.
thenotmagician: (Y'don't say)

[personal profile] thenotmagician 2012-01-20 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
Sure, y'could say that.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: That miiiight make sense)

[personal profile] likesfootnotes 2012-01-20 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
How about any cooking competition? Surely you have some ambition.

[Zeke, you may not be a magician, but you are pretty much human to him and that means at least some expected drive to conquer ALL THE THINGS.]
thenotmagician: (Amused)

[personal profile] thenotmagician 2012-01-20 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
Mmm, well, cooking's different.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: Whataya know. Food for thought.)

[personal profile] likesfootnotes 2012-01-20 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
I knew it!

If I were to challenge you to a cooking duel, you would be loathe to refuse, no doubt.
thenotmagician: (Nice ta meet ya)

[personal profile] thenotmagician 2012-01-20 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
'Course. Wouldn't wanna disappoint ya.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: That miiiight make sense)

[personal profile] likesfootnotes 2012-01-20 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
And yet so many others have made an artform of it.

(A remarkably failed one, if you ask me.)
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: OR you could see it my way)

[personal profile] likesfootnotes 2012-01-20 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
That's the way that some have looked at it.

[Looking at you, Khaba.]
thenotmagician: (Well y'know...)

[personal profile] thenotmagician 2012-01-20 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
Well, I don't exactly think of it as art.
thenotmagician: (Y'don't say)

[personal profile] thenotmagician 2012-01-20 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
It's more...

[Hmm.]

Somethin' I love ta do. And it makes other people happy,too. Dunno what exactly you'd call that.
likesfootnotes: (Ptolemy: OR you could see it my way)

[personal profile] likesfootnotes 2012-01-22 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, the philanthropist route! The do-gooding must allow you to sleep well at night.
thenotmagician: (Stripped sweater)

[personal profile] thenotmagician 2012-01-22 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Well I've never really ever had trouble sleepin'.
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