6th footnote [text] target practice

[likesfootnotes]

I have a couple of suggestions for the would-be marksmen fervently preparing for the upcoming tournament:

1. Magicians are widely considered to be the best choice for target practice. Unfit and unfashionable, they can be seen at a thousand paces in their gaudy attire and offer a moving target. ¹ I suggest saving a target and using a magician!
   
   
2. Don't bother entering the actual contest. Instead, list your wishes here and I might deign to grant them once I've been declared Lord for a day.

1 - Don't worry about one outrunning your shot. Magicians are too fond of their food to be anything but slow and rotund. The majority of them mask this by wearing cleverly designed pants that are thirteen sizes too small and somehow conceal all that extra flesh. It's not a pleasant sight.

Comments

[thenotmagician]

[Zeke is currently just laughing his ass off.]

[likesfootnotes]

[Practicing your evil laugh for when he triumphs and names you Chef Zeke, second in command of the Keep for the day?]

[thenotmagician]

[Oh totally. Listen to that cackle! It's terrifying.]

mMost accurate description if I ever head one.

[likesfootnotes]

[Deepen it a bit and let it flow from the throat and you'll have ever hero in a ten-mile radius shuddering with unease.]

It's nice to hear some appreciation for the basic facts of life!

Are you going to be one of these so-called archers I'll just have to best?

[thenotmagician]

Nah, I'm just a chef. Just gonna kick back and watch.

[likesfootnotes]

Good man! You can recognise that you don't stand a chance and toss in the towel accordingly. Magicians everywhere could stand to learn from you.

[thenotmagician]

Sure, y'could say that.

[likesfootnotes]

How about any cooking competition? Surely you have some ambition.

[Zeke, you may not be a magician, but you are pretty much human to him and that means at least some expected drive to conquer ALL THE THINGS.]

[thenotmagician]

Mmm, well, cooking's different.

[likesfootnotes]

I knew it!

If I were to challenge you to a cooking duel, you would be loathe to refuse, no doubt.

[thenotmagician]

'Course. Wouldn't wanna disappoint ya.

[likesfootnotes]

And yet so many others have made an artform of it.

(A remarkably failed one, if you ask me.)

[thenotmagician]

Art, huh?

[likesfootnotes]

That's the way that some have looked at it.

[Looking at you, Khaba.]

[thenotmagician]

Well, I don't exactly think of it as art.

[likesfootnotes]

Enlighten me.

[audio]

[needsnobottle]

And what's the catch?

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

An arrow, if you're the targeted magician.

(Though, but the skills of some around here, I doubt targets are in much danger.)

[audio]

[needsnobottle]

I meant for the wish. [and she bites off her sarcastic name calling! There will be no bridge burning when he might still be able to burn a different bridge for her.]

[Audio]

[3wayforjustice]

Excuse me?

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

There's no catch! Unless you're a magician, at which point we go back to the first catch.

[Audio]

[likesfootnotes]

That depends on what I'm excusing.

[thenotmagician]

It's more...

[Hmm.]

Somethin' I love ta do. And it makes other people happy,too. Dunno what exactly you'd call that.

[Audio]

[3wayforjustice]

You sound as if you've a problem with mages.

[likesfootnotes]

Ah, the philanthropist route! The do-gooding must allow you to sleep well at night.