likesfootnotes | 1st footnote [text] an open letter

Dear Mr. Mandrake:

There is entirely too much form and substance here. Where's that blissful rest you promised? You'll give my essence an ulcer with all this existing you've subjected me to.

This is almost the most pathetic dismissal I've ever had the displeasure of enduring. ¹ I must admit that I expected better of you after that unfortunately ironclad summoning and those meagre displays of skill that you displayed.

Still, what can you expect from a half-pint magician overflowing with ego after single-handedly saving the British government from certain annihilation? ² I admit, I'm surprised that your head hasn't exploded yet from all the praise. Do be certain to record it for posterity when it does.

Admittedly, this beats a rosemary-lined tin at the bottom of the Thames. Did you know that small miracles are said to be the hallmark of a mediocre magician? Truly, your greatest achievement shall be managing to summon the immensity of my presence - and this I invite you to never try again.

The next time you decide to subject a spirit to your aspirations, might I suggest Faquarl? He's a good chap, sturdy in essence, and suited to your level. A step down in quality, certainly, but that just proves my point.

Most sincerely not yours,

[Have an X in place of a signature; names are bondage to spirits, so he'll not be freely handing it out just yet.]

1 - The worst, arguably, would be when Frederick Von Mundgeruch dismissed me straight into another magician's pentacle. That didn't work out too well for ol' Freddy. Turns out that this magician had a grudge against him and put me to work Detonating his secret castle, location known only to slaves and spirits, to rubble.

2 - Invariably, that is how it'll go down in the history books as written by the magicians. Between you, me, and anyone that'll listen? A kid never would have managed it without a certain all-powerful, self-effacing djinni on his side.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Bartimaeus has spent his fair share of time in avian forms and he's quite certain he knows the ruffle of feathers when he hears them. This, then, must mean a fellow djinni with a penchant for feathered forms. To each their own - he has a taste for gargoyles himself.]

Writing is a lost art to some. Unfortunately, too many back home are fond of it and practice long hours to write out the scripture of a pentacle, if you catch my meaning.

[He's looking at YOU, magicians.]

Then continue to lay out the truths as you see them! No djinni worth my salt would deny you this chance to be brutally honest. No, not at all!

[Well, you see isn't that the greatest of coincidences?! Zhaneel's been in this avian form for her entire six years of life! She and Bartimaeus are practically related! XD Too bad it's not particularly a djinni bonding moment, no matter how happy this might make Barti.

She listens, ears flicked forward and bobs her head in agreement.]

It is an artform at times, as well .. [Although she's not sure to whom is being spoken about, she can smile and nod with the best of them. Minus the smiling .. the whole beak thing, you know.] I believe so, yes .. Father could occasionally write quite the long draft when he was duely inspired.

[Her feathered brows rise and she chortles with delight.]

Not modest in the slightest are you, friend?

[Six years? You have his condolences! How you must ache after being in a physical form for that long. Typically, magicians have temporarily dismissed him before a year is up on Earth, if only to silence his whining about how he aches and how uncomfortable it is having substance - on it goes, until they roll their eyes and send him away for a spell.]

And such inspiration is the death of me! Only the most inspired of magicians seem to summon me(though by inspired, I do mean questionably sane). The hours it takes them to draw the pentacle and chant the summonses are no small measure, and it's generally to have me tramp across the county at great peril to myself in order to retrieve some golden artefact - when they had three bronze ones already.

[Bitter much? Nah.]

Modesty is an affliction of the incompetent or the lazy. They either do not want recognition for the single time they succeed (and, in that, be expected to repeat it), or they are taking credit for someone else's hard work.

Think about it a moment: Would you be fine with some fool claiming that he did all the work that you nearly died to achieve? Hardly!

When I have gone to great lengths to adopt my reputation and am, by nature, a fountain of insurmisable skill, there is no point in clouding the facts. Might as well claim them before someone else does!

[Ego is as ego does; his ego seeks world conquest.]

[Oh, her muscles ache from time to time, but hardly from maintaining this one shape. It had been the shape she was born into, after all .. not that Bartimaeus was aware of this minor fact at the present time.]

I am sorry you have been so unfortunate as to only find yourself in the company of those you find insufferable and .. lacking in sanity. Clearly they are duelly incapable of taking care of themselves if they give such whimsical orders to you.

[WHAT ARE BITTER?! That's a flavor, right?? :D

She takes in his words with a raised eyeridge, chortling softly in response. If this one was anything, it certainly wasn't modest. However, his words do hit rather close to home in a manner .. She had, after all, tried killing herself when she'd taken out the pair of ma'kaar. She had attacked with the notion that they might finally know who she was and give her some credit for the work she had done to protect them all. True, she had ultimately been trying to kill herself, but that was neither here nor there.]

No .. I would not be fine with that at all, I do not think ..

[Hers was not ego .. hers was wanting to find validation in herself .. even if it came from her own death.]

Indeed they are! Children with petty claims and callings both; this is the very definition of a magician. It's a wonder and a pity that they haven't killed each other off with their incompetence.

[If only! Wishful thinking, however, does not destroy the masses of magicians. And, for all his laments, Bartimaeus is technically incapable of destroying them all - he cannot summon himself and therefore must always protect at least one.

There is also the matter of 'why bother' - his common platitude in this. Once dismissed to the Other Place it becomes easy to put aside the servitude and relax in the essence of all things. He sees no point in twisting his up over the stress of being summoned when he might - you never know! - become forgotten and never called again.]

Then you understand why one must claim and reclaim their triumphs, otherwise all that hard work goes to waste.

1st footnote [text] an open letter

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