1st summon [audio]

[likesfootnotes]

Saved!

[There is an unmistakable air of vindictive triumph to the voice, and a squelch that just might be a blob of essence thrusting gelatinous limbs into the air to celebrate. This disolves into the sounds of dripping, as the blob falls apart and reforms sluggishly on. Then a few sloshes as Bartimaeus takes a gander at his surroundings and the device in front of him.]

No pretentious Mr. Mandrake here? Those were the sharp hooks of a summon I felt tearing at my essence. Not that I'm here to complain! Between an untimely and undignified death by silver tureen and a summoning to his presence, I would have to take his presence, even withstanding his atrocious fashion sense, the stench of that horrible prepubescent cologne he wears, and that terrible propaganda story-telling he does.

[Some more sloshing as he makes sure the insults have not done their part to summon up the magician. Nope, no silver-tipped spear being angrily thrust in his direction. This makes him pause; the only thing that could summon him would be his master, and the distinct lack therein suggests Mr. Mandrake did not survive to see through the summoning. That must mean he is home, sweet home!]

This is oddly well-formed for being the Other Place. Someone is being a little over ambitious. There are far too many spirits that like physical things lately -- skeletons, yucky fleshy bodies, and making rooms of our home. That's not a good sense of style.

Comments

[entirelybonkers.livejournal.com]

Other Place? What sort of 'Other Place' are you referencing? There could be many things in which you are talking about, for instance - you could be talking about your Actual Place Of Origin, or maybe a place in which you were but it wasn't one you know terribly well since you were only just recently re-acquainted with it yourself.

[thenotmagician]

"Other Place"?

[likesfootnotes]

I refer to the Other Place. Did you leave some of your essence behind? Sloppy dismissals can make such a mess a returning spirit.

[likesfootnotes]

Precisely what I said! Quite literally.

[thenotmagician]

Well I dunno what this other place is, but you're onna cruise ship called th'Elegante, and we're goin' to the Golden Shore, where ever th'heck that is.

[likesfootnotes]

This is the sign you've invested too much into making this whole place 'real' when it really shouldn't be. Uncreative names and goals are best left to magicians, not spirits.

[That may be a pause, because Bartimaeus has realised that in the few minutes he's been here, time has (a) passed and (b) failed to revitalise his essence at all.]

Hm.

[entirelybonkers.livejournal.com]

Why, I most certainly hope not! Though what I am rather sure about is that we aren't in the Other Place because we are on a ship called the Elegante. I think it's a rather fine name, and I'm absolutely uncertain as to where we're headed but I do think that the end result will be quite entertaining, don't you?

[likesfootnotes]

And if that 'end result' is a ritualistic humiliation of a certain Mandrake, then I would have to agree about its entertainment value.

If not, and if this is not the Other Place -- A possibility, since my essence is still seeping. -- then it won't be very entertaining at all. In fact, it does leave certain questions unanswered.

I was distinctly summoned. You! How did you summon me without a pentacle?

[The voice has put up aires of being rather more intimidating than it is. Imagine, if you will, a rubber ducky that has been dropped an octave and a half (or three) so that the bass of it reverberates the very ground. Yes, he is trying to intimidate you, person-that-may-be-a-magician -- and he will do it through a PHONE if he must!]

[keepthedeaddown.livejournal.com]

[Skeletal spirits? Death by silver? What on earth-?]

Excuse me, who summoned you?

[thenotmagician]

Think you're a bit confused there, buddy. S'a boat run by a batshit Captain. Though if anything I'd say he's some wacko wizard than a magician.

[Zeke knows alllll about magicians]

[likesfootnotes]

That is the dilemma! The fool didn't even use a pentacle, which is a fine detail that is going to bite him in the bottom. Quite literally, when I find the offending magician, and I intend to do it with a grin (if I can form proper teeth in time).

[Have some more oozing and sloshing noises, kind of like the blob is dancing, because he cannot wait to find the silly magician who summoned him without a pentacle. That is-- well, it's impossible, but it leaves the magician as vulnerable as if he knew one's birthname (looking at you, Mandrake).]

[entirelybonkers.livejournal.com]

I hardly think that your consumption of a mandrake has to do with this - but then again, it could very well have everything to do with it! I must admit - upon hearing its scream, how did you survive?

[Is she serious? That's up for debate.]

Oh, this place can be quite entertaining. Why, just several days ago we were happily ashore on a lovely desert island, complete with coconuts and palm trees, then suddenly whisked away to this ship, where it rather looks as though someone has unleashed something much worse than a Bandersnatch or a Jabberwock.

[His intimidation attempt elicits no fear from Alice!]

I say, have you need of some warm honey? Your voice sounds atrocious!

[likesfootnotes]

[Have more pause, and some sloshing as Bartimaeus checks for essence, pentacles, and-- no pentacles? Some djinni's day just got a whole lot better.]

'Wacky' indeed! Though why he would insist on wizard is beyond a spirit's comprehension. The title fell out of style after Merlin kicked the bucket.

Who did you say this wacky Captain was?

[thenotmagician]

Captain Redd. Total nutjob. Don't wanna cross 'im.

[likesfootnotes]

Honey? No, I don't need honey! You should be terrified by it. So maybe it sounds like a deranged duck right now, but that's what happens when one's essence is in this state.

[Traditionally, such an application of sound has reduced adult magicians to quivering and, recently, nearly startled one commoner out of her pentacle. That it doesn't work here seems to deflate the blob, right up until the mandrake reference sinks in.]

"It's" scream?

[Gurgling that is laughter? This could be happening.]

The scream of a Mandrake is nothing. Rather strangled and pathetic, as I recall it. Survival only comes into question when you think about the risks of laughing to death.

Regardless, who would want to eat that? It's all stringy, bitter, and human. Only Jabor or Cormocodran would eat them, and that last one gave the latter a critical case of indigestion. I prefer imps usually, and foliots on occasion.

[The rest of her information sounds less appealing and amusing. Whisking back and forth sounds a lot like being summoned. Ugh.]

Jabberwock, huh? I thought the old guy had stopped using that name in Victorian England. I haven't heard of Bandersnatch though. Must be an imp, though how that could be a bad thing is up in the air; death by irritation, perhaps.

What is it that's worse?

[That is a certain Djinni remembering Faquarl and the Hopkins body issue, seeing as that is very much in the forefront of his essence. Please don't tell him his old friend is there, especially as all that familiarity between them definitely bred contempt over the centuries.]

[likesfootnotes]

[Nutjob goes hand in hand with magician in Bartimaeus's book. Have a goopy sounding eyeroll in the audio.]

Captain and wizard? It sounds as pompous as calling yourself Information Minister when all you do is send out badly written stories to romance the commoners.

Besides, has he not realised who exactly he has crossed by summoning me?

[thenotmagician]

Welp, God knows if he's actually a Wizard. But I dunno who else can do what he does, unless he's some deity or some shit.

And I'm sure he does. he just goes around and abducts who the fuck ever and drops 'em here. And everyone's stuck no matter what. Don't think anyone's been able to touch him.

[likesfootnotes]

It would take a great deal of ability to summon a being such as myself, so it can only be presumed he is quite confident and possibly capable.

[The ooze is considering his situation, being that he is... well, he is ooze and this captain-wizard-nutjob seems to have overlord figured out. Another Gladstone, yippee.]

Fortunate for him that I know not where he dwells, otherwise my considerable wrath might have been visited upon him!

[That sounds appropriately self-aggrandising; artistic, even, in its own merits.]

[thenotmagician]

Bet most of us would like ta find where he's hidden. Gotta be somewhere near the bottom of the ship, though, considerin' we've got all the upper decks covered. 'Course treks down the lower decks were never very successful.

[keepthedeaddown.livejournal.com]

[Sabriel quells the impulse to ask what exactly this creature is.]

If you mean to say you have only just arrived, then it was most likely the Captain who has summoned you.

I would not suggest biting anyone. He has been lax of late, but ordinarily he punishes acts of violence.

[likesfootnotes]

[This is sounding more and more like the typical magician-djinni balance. What fun! Please do not mistake the gurgling for pleasure this time, it is more a resigned sigh of 'not again' escaping him.]

Does he prefer the Red Hot Stipples or the Punitive Jab? Both can be endured, but they can be very uncomfortable!

Fortunate for him, summoning me without a pentacle may be an act that deserves cold vengeance.

[likesfootnotes]

Hardly a challenge for me, I suspect. Not even the Tower of London could hold me, after all. A few lower decks on a ship? Nothing at all!

[Note that Bartimaeus is leaving out a few key details: (1) His essence is hardly up to taking solid form, (2) it was Faquarl that Jabor that got him out of the tower, and (3) there is likely a point that goes here, but that would make him sound less astounding and therefore shall be edited out.]

[keepthedeaddown.livejournal.com]

I-,

[She is distracted by the gurgling.]

To my knowledge, he does not use either. But I am yet to be punished for starting a fight.

[She hesitates. Short of going looking for him, she is not going to discover anything else this way, and her curiosity is piqued.]

Forgive me, but you do not sound... Human. Do you mind if I ask what you are?

[likesfootnotes]

Might I advise advising them both. Cruel measures favoured by magicians are best left to being forgotten.

[Bartimaeus must consider how to phrase this to the best of his reputation. It hardly fits one of his stature to admit he is nothing particular in form at this exact minute, though he can freely admit what he is in essence.]

The concept of me is an extremely fluid one. You sound human, so I will try to phrase it in a way you will understand. I am a djinni, and one of the fourth level. In case you are ignorant of this means, I am something to be revered and quite possibly feared.

[keepthedeaddown.livejournal.com]

[Sabriel all but laughs. Those who should be feared seldom need to broadcast the fact.]

You are a magical being.

[Who may be summoned with the use of magic symbols and is vulnerable to silver. These concepts are not unfamiliar to her. A djinni, however, is.]

Forgive me. As you say, I am human. Why should you be revered? What power do you possess that could inspire fear?

[In the most flattering manner possible, exactly what are you capable of?]