likesfootnotes | 4th footnote [text] how to dismiss your djinni 101

Entry tags:

!ic: text

4th footnote [text] how to dismiss your djinni 101

Unleashing a horde of hawks upon the Keep gains you marks for creativity, but you are missing the mark by a substantial degree if you think that raptors alone could rid you of my enchanting presence.¹

Obviously you lack the intellectual fortitude to assess the means by which to free me and gain some peace. As a being of magnanimity, I will offer you a tip to help you along this path:

There's nothing like a good dismissal incantation to scrub away my essence from this dismal plane.²

While all the magicians that I know to be present puzzle that one out, a query to the commoners: Has anyone seen a delightful orange squash with pleasant enough demeanour?

[aka: 'Djinni seeking nubile young pumpkin for long rolls on the beach and loud mocking of magicians.' Bartimaeus had good fun chatting with her before the wonderful Hallowe'en festivities. Yes. Wonderful. He had a good chuckle over it all.]

1 - Were I restricted to the form of a raven, this method could work. The key term here being 'were' for the fact that I am not restricted to just any form. I could, in fact, take your hawks and raise you a dual-horned, goggle-eyed dragon with a taste for feathers.

2 - Don't expect me to hand the answer to you on a silver platter. That unfortunate alloy aside, providing you magicians with the means to an end is the same as assisting you. I cannot allow this on a professional level, no matter how the ache of existing builds up. We spirits have certain rules and standards we hold ourselves to.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Liz's expression is curious and bright and yes, she read that whole thing and thinks you're pretty strange, barti boy, but that first little thing caught her attention.

She is, after all, a poltergeist from a world with shapeshifters and such... and (above all) still a curious teenager.]

You can, like, change shape? I've never heard of a raven shifter before, but I guess with, like, werewolves and stuff that it's really totally, like, possible and stuff. But you made it sound like you can change into more than just a raven...?

[Isn't she a bundle of curiosity!]

Ravens are the least complex of beings to imitate and I hardly stop there.

[Bartimaeus is not mentioning the part where the first time he took raven form, he had that tiiiiiiny little slip in accuracy. Nobody noticed before he corrected it, really. Besides, who would notice a blue-beaked raven? As he thought! Absolutely no one.]

The true artist, of which I am undoubtedly one, steps beyond the confines of the known and delves into the more sublime art of creation. Anyone can do a bird, but only a djinni can do a bird with feathers of glass and the dulcet voice of a thousand sopranos lined up in a row.

[Just a simple example.]

[Yeah, color Liz impressed. Her smile brightens and even if she knew about the silly blue beak think, she'd hardly be bothered by it because... You can change shapes, yo!]

Have you,like, been a bird with glass feathers and a dulcet voice of a thousand sopranos? I think I, like, only ever saw one with a dulcet of one hundred voices before...

[Teasing him? Damn right she is. But all in good fun, because she really is impressed by this.]

I don't think I've ever,like, met a djinni before... witches and wizards and necromancers and demons and stuff, but, like, never a djinni, you know?

[Bartimaeus does not respond right away for his radar is alight with warnings that this audio feed is, in fact, suddenly video in nature. She did not exist a moment ago, did she? Oh, but he recovers with his wit intact.]

Then you've been privy to the display of an underachiever - probably an Utukku. Or Jabor. His mind tends on the meal, not the presentation, and that makes him suitably uncreative. You should tell them to strive for better.

[Teasing she may be doing, but Bartimaeus is trollin' - aka, taking whatever she offers and rolling with it. Like her intent, it's all in good fun.]

Ah, but that would explain why you've heard only the dulcet tone of one hundred sopranos.

I recommend disregarding the witches and wizards entirely, and the necromancers as well. Aside from being the terrible examples of anything, they can only hope to be a soprano after a long and involved process called being a eunuch.

As for demons - insulting term aside, you perhaps have seen a misrepresented form of my kind. Too many people are fond of that degrading label.

[Liz, for her part, has no idea that she is appearing and disappearing during her broadcast; certainly not if Bartimaeus doesn't say something about it. :D]

Utukku? Isn't that, like, someone that likes Japanese cartoons or something?

[She could be wrong about that, but then the guy is already moving on and her brows rise just a bit. He was totally serious and that was sooooo cool! She listens rather attentively, frowning a bit as he advises that she remain free of several that she listed.]

But, like, one of my best friends is a witch and Chloe is a necromancer and neither of them are horrible or anything. Well, like, Tori is kinda cranky, but she always has bee, you know? But Chloe is a total sweetheart and totally went out of her way to, like, help me out.

[Then her eyes widen, concerned she has accidentally insulted this guy.]

Oh, I wasn't trying to, like, insult you or anything. I'm a volo-half-demon. I mean, it's just what they've always been called where I'm from. If there's something else I should, like, refer to myself as, I will, like, totally do it.

[Oh, hey... are they like distant cousins, cause that's pretty bomb.com]

'Spirit' is the politically correct term, which of course no actual politicians use. That's what comes of mixing magic with politics, you see. Total disregard for such a basic thing as manners.

[Bartimaeus is trying to ignore the flickering image, but rather like poor reception on television during a major game, it's starting to get beneath his guise on the first plane and quickly drilling down to the second. There's an attempt to fix it - a jarring to the image of a hand smacking the journal to clear it up.]

Speaking of manners, has no one told you it's rude to keep disappearing mid-conversation?

[Liz's lips purse slightly before quirking a bit at the term Bartimaeus chooses. His feed has changed to video and he doesn't look at all like Liz might have thought with all the demon/otaku/spirit talk; but then, neither does she, really.]

Spirit, huh? Well, I've certainly, like, been called that before, but I think the connotation is, like, different on my world than on yours.

[And then he appears to hit his journal and Liz blinks, brow furrowing a bit in confusion.]

Ummm, is, like, everything ok-

[Then her eyes widen a bit and she palms her hand over her face, looking absolutely mortified.]

Oh, God, I am, like, soooooo sorry! I can't control it at all... back home people, like, couldn't see me at all, you know? Here, it kinda blinks in and out like a bad television antenae. It's, like a huge problem, but, like, I'm a poltergeist, so I should be happy anyone can see me at all any of the time besides Chloe...

[If she's visible, she looks clearly downtrodden about this whole mess.]

Not only that, but, like, the Lord of this place made me solid somehow too, but, like, that only works sometimes too! God, this sucks.

[Oh, Bartimaeus could look like a truly hideous creature of hellish proportions, but there's a time and place for every artistic expression. He finds the Keep rather lackluster in this regard and easily 'awed' with simpler forms. He saves the showstopping forms for those who will either appreciate, or cower in fright.

Besides, have you ever tried to handle these journals with giant clawed hands? He didn't think so.]

How many planes does your deficiency extend to? I might as well bypass the worst of it.

[Though checking all seven through the video is not alleviating it. He chalks it off to the marvels of technology - where very little of it is marvellous.]

Ugh, I despise all this physical form that the world makes our kind take. It aches all over and there's no relief. Though I've rarely heard of a poltergeist with that problem. Usually all the house thumping and screaming brings about a dismissal faster (and more frequently) than an imp burps. Have you been pulling out all the stops?

[Well, Liz has certainly seen more than her fair share of the hideous and hellish in her days running (or floating) around with Chloe and Derek! With her dad being the big and scary demon he is, she's seen that sort milling around from time to time as well. You might find that she'd appreciate your forms far more than you give credit, Barti, dear. She wasn't sure anything could rattle her more than losing her head recently, but she'd certainly give credit where it was due!

Although no, she'd never much given mind to the whole journaling with claws aspect of it. Hmm...

His question puzzles her and she blinks, her confusion evidently that and not something more nefarious or tricky.]

Planes? What?

[Clearly this was a matter best fixed by meeting in person, Bartimaeus. We should arrange this...]

I mean, it's not like I haven't tried to do stuff I normally would. Like, something about this place seems to, like, put a damper on it or something. I can usually do, like, a whole lot more than I can do here.

[She then looks a bit uneasy... that is if you can see her and all.]

Umm.. I'm not too sure how keen I am on, like, that whole dismissal thing. Do you mean, like, an exorcism? Cause... yeah, no thanks. I kinda like being all, like, haunty and stuff.

[Obviously he will have to start from square one here. Bartimaeus has minimal experience with poltergeists, since they tend to be of the foliot level at most, and the disparity between his magnificence and them is no minor thing.

How lucky she is that he is so magnanimous.]

The seven planes of existence that we spirits can see, though the humans insist that there is only one. Are you appearance-challenged on all seven, or is this a delight of just the first few?

[It would rather be like a poltergeist to just mess around with the first two or three levels, where humans and cats could be freaked out. Bartimaeus would verify this for himself, but videos do not carry the same auras as reality and without a scrying imp to see through, he is plane-blind.

...ah, there she goes again. Just a disembodied voice speaking what sounds like nonsense to him.]

Dismissal rids you of the physical body and the need for hanging around. Who would want to exist in the physical plane?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

4th footnote [text] how to dismiss your djinni 101

[Audio/Video] Will he actually see her, who knows!

[Audio] give him a tag, he's too busy puffing life a puffin of pride

[Audio/Video] Forever.

[audio] ...hang on a second

Something wrong, Barti boy? :D

[video] his eyes doth be deceiving him, CLEARLY

[video] You should see someone about that... can't be a good sign. /concern

[video] too much time in the real world; ONE MORE VOTE FOR DISMISSAL

[video] I'm uncertain how I feel about this dismissal stuff... :\

[video] you should feel amazing - that is how he feels!