Bartimaeus of Uruk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likesfootnotes) wrote2011-11-12 09:55 am
likesfootnotes) wrote2011-11-12 09:55 am
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4th footnote [text] how to dismiss your djinni 101
Unleashing a horde of hawks upon the Keep gains you marks for creativity, but you are missing the mark by a substantial degree if you think that raptors alone could rid you of my enchanting presence. 1
Obviously you lack the intellectual fortitude to assess the means by which to free me and gain some peace. As a being of magnanimity, I will offer you a tip to help you along this path:
There's nothing like a good dismissal incantation to scrub away my essence from this dismal plane. 2
While all the magicians that I know to be present puzzle that one out, a query to the commoners: Has anyone seen a delightful orange squash with pleasant enough demeanour?
[aka: 'Djinni seeking nubile young pumpkin for long rolls on the beach and loud mocking of magicians.' Bartimaeus had good fun chatting with her before the wonderful Hallowe'en festivities. Yes. Wonderful. He had a good chuckle over it all.]
1 - Were I restricted to the form of a raven, this method could work. The key term here being 'were' for the fact that I am not restricted to just any form. I could, in fact, take your hawks and raise you a dual-horned, goggle-eyed dragon with a taste for feathers.
2 - Don't expect me to hand the answer to you on a silver platter. That unfortunate alloy aside, providing you magicians with the means to an end is the same as assisting you. I cannot allow this on a professional level, no matter how the ache of existing builds up. We spirits have certain rules and standards we hold ourselves to.
Obviously you lack the intellectual fortitude to assess the means by which to free me and gain some peace. As a being of magnanimity, I will offer you a tip to help you along this path:
There's nothing like a good dismissal incantation to scrub away my essence from this dismal plane. 2
While all the magicians that I know to be present puzzle that one out, a query to the commoners: Has anyone seen a delightful orange squash with pleasant enough demeanour?
[aka: 'Djinni seeking nubile young pumpkin for long rolls on the beach and loud mocking of magicians.' Bartimaeus had good fun chatting with her before the wonderful Hallowe'en festivities. Yes. Wonderful. He had a good chuckle over it all.]
1 - Were I restricted to the form of a raven, this method could work. The key term here being 'were' for the fact that I am not restricted to just any form. I could, in fact, take your hawks and raise you a dual-horned, goggle-eyed dragon with a taste for feathers.
2 - Don't expect me to hand the answer to you on a silver platter. That unfortunate alloy aside, providing you magicians with the means to an end is the same as assisting you. I cannot allow this on a professional level, no matter how the ache of existing builds up. We spirits have certain rules and standards we hold ourselves to.
[text]
Non-magicians that seek to dismiss a djinni require five key objects:
1 - 19 1/2 hawk feathers dyed orange
2 - 3 litres of prune juice 5
3 - 1 eye mask with green glitter
4 - 2 sheets of vellum
5 - 1 blood-ink pen 6
Think you can scrounge all that up?
5 - The juice must have been squeezed out between feet clad in three-day-worn socks. This detail is very critical, otherwise the whole process gets bunged up.
6 - You can use a red ball-point pen for this, but the effect is somewhat less. Guaranteed to work for a foliot, but a spirit of quality might not be able to squeeze past it. In your case, the spirit is quite daft, therefore a pen will work fine.
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7 - Made you look. Ahem. As I was saying, I am the most serious djinni you will ever encounter.
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8 - This is not so with all spirits, but I happen to be a master of detail. No form is worth doing unless it is done to artistic perfection.
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9 - This is my "I believe you" face. You can't see it, but you'll have to take my word on it.