3rd footnote [open commentlog] mischief managed - BACKDATED TO MORNING

[likesfootnotes]

**Prior to this log.**

[Talking pumpkins getting you down? Not Bartimaeus! The day has been quite fruitful for him, as he found the Nathaniel pumpkin early and spent at least four hours listening to it curse him out for not being there. Still, being called a "foul demon" and "reprehensible djinni" for not freeing the bumpkin (boy-pumpkin, get it?) gets old.

Nattyumpkin rests right where Bartimaeus found it, left to well-deserved suffering while the djinni has found a new place to rest.

Many new places.

You see, Bartimaeus has turned himself into a pumpkin and, throughout the day, will be perched in different areas of the Keep to provide a little variety to the litany of agony and torment that's been going on. Keepites that happen to pass him by may hear such gems as:

> Your mother was a watermelon!
> (belching)
> That's what she/he said.
> Got a light? My face went out.
> EDIT: (think Fable 3 gnomes)

There's no limit to what he might say, but do assume it to be crass or amusing. Then theres the matter of his appearance; he pulled out all the stops just for you. And you. And you!

Approach the Bartiumpkin? Y/N/WTF?]

Comments

[thii2ii22tupiid]

*Sollux is still surveying the pumpkins, as he's been doing since they started talking. Mostly he's ignoring the voices (honestly, what's a few more voices when one's head is already full of them?), but 'thankfully' he notices Barti's and pauses.*

What's a watermelon?

*Looking around he spots the...interesting...pumpkin. Huh, doesn't quite seem to fit the theme here.*

[likesfootnotes]

[Bartimaeus nearly misses a beat at that. What is the education system coming to when a kid - at least, he's assuming that this is a kid; pumpkins don't have the best eyesight - has no clue what a watermelon is?

Nearly does not miss the beat; he falters on the minor chord and stares through googly squash eyes, then grins.]

That terrible of a son, are you? Don't even know what the old woman looks like. Tut-tut-tut!

[thii2ii22tupiid]

*Son was a human word, right? No idea what's so special about an old female, though.*

Clearly I must be or else I wouldn't be asking.

((derp, i forgot to ask, but is voice the same as usual?))

[thenotmagician]

[Oh well hello there extremely freaky looking pumpkin. Zeke is horribly amused.]

Your face went out, eh?

[likesfootnotes]

[You mean to say "epitome of artistic pumpkin perfection" obviously, but his skill tends to trigger just such awe and confusion, it's okay.]

A tragedy of most pumpkin proportions! Have you ever had your face go out? A nasty business, that.

[likesfootnotes]

[They bake cookies and pie, but mention not the pumpkin angle of it - that would be true travesty in the company you keep.

He chuckles and speaks again, his voice likely similar - but it's taken on a squashed quality, as though Bartimaeus is trying to speak though a mouthful of pumpkin innards. Appropriate, no?]

Not even a whit of regret! You wouldn't happen to be a teenager, would you?

[Or a magician. Wait, he's seen you before, mage. No wonder you don't know that your mother's a giant fruit consumed by masses of children every summer!]

[thii2ii22tupiid]

I'm six.

*He knows what you mean, bartikin, he just doesn't feel like giving the expected answer.*

You know, you didn't do this very well, you don't fit with the rest at all. Unless maybe you were just really ugly in life.

*He sort of recognizes that voice, but not really enough to place it yet. The snark is just normal snark.*

[likesfootnotes]

[Bartimaeus might believe it based on past text conversations, but there's wit to be dispense.]

You're six, and I'm a monkey's uncle.

[Dare you impugn his artistic honour? This pumpkin is of masterful design and execution, with all the insights and details that only the otherworldly can deliver.]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so you might want to get those glasses checked.

[thii2ii22tupiid]

And here I thought you were just a pumpkin.

*Sollux pushes his glasses down a bit so he can look at Barti over them.*

Nope, you still look pretty ugly. The cannibalism's a nice touch, though, but I'm not sure if you want to risk pissing off the other pumpkins with it.

[thenotmagician]

I can't say I have. Sounds a bit painful, though.

[needsnobottle]

[After her roommate pumpkin died a screaming, agonizing, messy death, Tammy left her room and is now kind of looking for her own pumpkin, because apparently that'll stop the whispers. She's not liking the additional voices in her head, not one bit.

She's in a bit of a state of shock, but she's not yet so far gone that she doesn't recognize that one of these pumpkins is not like the other. She eyes it and when it speaks, it's almost so surreal that she can't quite comprehend it.

But there's something about a good insult that really helps ground a girl. Tammy steps in front of the offending pumpkin.]

Come again?

{OOC: No idea what he said, feel free to pick.}